HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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