We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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