I cannot find my penis.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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