he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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