Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize