Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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