So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
