So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
