i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
