I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
