I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
