Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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