i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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