all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
