We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize