so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i may or may not be watching the land before time
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
