so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
