Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
