4 words: hood of his car
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
