Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
