So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
