I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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