I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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