Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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