So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
