my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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