So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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