Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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