Already got asked if we're dating
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
