yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
