I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
