dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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