But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
