So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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