i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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