maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
