...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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