Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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