THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize