I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize