this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
