Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
