I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
