She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
thus making me awesome and them whores
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
