he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
bring money and cleavage
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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