Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
