Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This baby is an asshole
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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