All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
