It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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