8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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