Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize