I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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