me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
