i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize