Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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