What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
