At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i will never coherently bang her
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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