margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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